Strange Cookery

You ever wake up at four in the morning and realize that horrible smell is something your housemate is cooking? You wonder: a) how that smell managed to make it all the way to your bedroom with such strength that when you close your eyes you can imagine that he's cooking on your nightstand, b) what kind of carnage are you going to find when you finally get up the nerve to investigate the kitchen, and c) how on earth are you ever going to get back to sleep when there is not enough incense in the world to cover that magnificent stench. And on that note, do not ever tell a meth addict he can come stay with you unless you have first spoken to his NA sponsor to be sure he is really on the wagon like he says he is. Seriously. Just don't do it.