1980's cinema saw a glorious outpouring of cheese in the form of low-budget barbarian flicks. Some of these movies were not incompetently put together (Beastmaster comes to mind). Others were such obviously rushed productions that you could hardly believe they'd be distributed to theaters, but they were (such were the days before direct-to-video). Guess which category Yor falls into? If some gym rats spontaneously decided to put on a show with whatever materials they could get out of people's basements, the result might look something like this movie. Actually, with the kind of special effects available to YouTube posters today, it might be better. Although I'd miss the paper-mache dinosaur.The very basic plot involves Yor questing to find his long-lost tribe (he knows he belongs to a long-lost tribe because his necklace doesn't look like anyone else's jewelry), all the while trying to dodge the same dozen or so dudes on multiple occasions, who are decked out in different colored body-paint in each skirmish in an attempt to make them look like new antagonists for Yor to vanquish. Also, a love triangle develops that lasts for about a nanosecond. Yor's got a nice bod, but his emoting is not as well developed as his abs. At one point, he is supposed to be portraying love at first sight, which onYor looks like he let a really good one. His main love interest, Kalaa, doesn't fare much better, if only because she's not called on to do much more than glare jealously at the parade of grateful tramps whom Yor rescues from hilariously goofy monsters. Even more hiliarious: the faux-Queen theme music that suddenly bursts onto the soundtrack every time Yor goes into action.
But none of these things are as unintentionally hilarious as the plot twist waiting at the end of this movie like that unidentifiable fruit at the bottom of grandma's jello mold (spoilers ahead). Sooner or later, the hero of a barbarian flick will have to face a smarmy villain who possesses, a) magic, or b) a technological advantage. Usually, this villain has shown up sometime earlier in the film to give the audience (and the hero) a taste of what he's all about. In Yor, he turns up pretty much out of left field, he apparently possesses both of the aforementioned traits, and he looks an awful lot like Darth Vader. Darth Copyright Infringement and his apprenti- er, accomplices have taken over what's left of their society, the cowed majority of whom dress an awful lot like Starfleet crew members. Yor, unbenknownst to himself, is the rightful heir of this place, and his necklace has been recording his life. DCI takes obscene delight in showing Yor how he's been taping his every move, only why is the necklace recording Yor from a distance? Shouldn't it be Yor-cam? Maybe the necklace is a beacon that attracts a satellite camera. What is it about movies like this which compels me to try to make sense out of the ridiculous? And why does the 'Yor learns to hunt' sequence feature Yor looking exactly the same as he does all the time? Wouldn't it have actually been cheaper to hire a teenaged day player for that scene?
Watch! As Yor throws androids over his head like sacks of potatoes! Thrill! As a badly-dubbed, long-lost ancestor saves the day and proceeds to speechify for a really long time! Cringe! Each time Kalaa bellows Yor's name in anguish! Most of all, enjoy this movie for the comedy gold which it truly is.
