Mr. Murder - 1999

I read the book this movie was based on years ago. I don't remember a great deal about where the movie diverges from the book, but I'm pretty sure the book's action arises from a less silly situation than that which launches this movie: juggled lab tests. And by juggled, I mean the evil doctor's assistant throws them in the air and catches them in a vain effort to impress a female colleague. The samples get mixed up, wacky hijinks ensue. I'm willing to look past the fact that the chances of a real hospital employing this goofball are slim to none, because this is a trashy movie. What really sends the incident over the top are the following items:

1. The evil doctor, whom we are supposed to take for some kind of genius, entrusted this goofball with very important samples.

2. This evil doctor, who has presumably met the goofball before and therefore knows what to expect, did not even leave a keeper in charge to thwack the goofball upside the head if he started to look like he might want to juggle with the samples.

3. This is apparently taking place in a regular hospital where the evil doctor works. That's a heck of a risk of discovery for an evil genius to take. Besides, what's wrong with the traditional evil lair with tricked-out lab? And smoke machines? And lightning flashing outside even when it adds nothing to the plot? Although, the evil industrial complex which figures into the middle third of the movie almost makes up for the lack of smoking lab beakers in the beginning.

I came across this gem on that treasure trove for trashy movies, late night cable. The schedule mistakenly said the movie was called Larva, and I missed the opening credits so I was expecting some kind of grody giant insect birth to come of the unfortunate juggling incident. Instead, Stephen Baldwin is born, which turns out to be kind of awesome, because his character (ominously named Alfie) is a flipped-out marvel of evil clone-dom. And every time you start to feel that maybe Alfie isn't so bad after all, the action shifts to Alfie's donor, a square family man who is obviously in for a really bad day whenever his maladjusted clone finally catches up to him.

Also well worth mentioning: Thomas Hayden Church, chewing the scenery as an evil scientist and barking out lines like, "Alfie is a weapon!"